Talking about people...

1. Saying "yes" when you mean "no". I get it. You have another offer on the table. You want to keep your cards close to your chest. But let me know. I'll understand. It's your career and it's important to you. I can take rejection honestly. I am a big boy. The first I hear of it, should not be when you do not turn up on day one. Or when I bump into you in the street the day you are meant to be starting with us and you are wearing the uniform of another establishment. It is a surprise. Not a nice one though.

2. Not mentioning the fear of offices / staplers / people named Ted / email / which makes you unable to attend work more than one day per month. If we know about it before you start it won't stop me giving you the job. It will help us work together on a way in which we can work through whatever it is.

3. Not turning up for interview is one thing. Not turning up without any explanation is another. I absolutely love sitting in the office at 6.30 in the evening waiting for people to arrive. No really. I do.

4. Being late. It's a job interview. Unless there is a two hour jam outside, the excuse of "I could not find it" is not an excuse. It is going to be however, one of the reasons why you have not got the job.

5. Not researching the job. When we establish that the job is not for you after 45 seconds we know we have wasted both of our days. (See also point 4. If you do your research you know how long it takes / how to get there). Hmmm.

6. Waiting until after you are offered the job and have accepted to issue a set of demands akin to the pre-concert backstage set up of Elton John or Cher. "I want iced water, chilled to exactly 12 degrees". You may gurgle into your coffee when you hear this, but some people ask this. A recent one: "I only travel by taxi". Interesting.

7. Thinking job hunting is some kind of E-bay auction. Using the job offer we send you to increase your salary where you work. And staying there. Or just annoying your present boss enough to get them to phone me to "have a go". Nice.

8. Arriving really early for the interview. I get it. You are keen. You are Mr Keen of Keenland. You want the job. And arriving at work before I do is going to get you that job, even though the interview is in the evening. Or the next day. It's not queuing for Kylie tickets. Camping outside overnight won't get you in. It freaks "us" interviewers out. We are like Wildebeest on the plains of the Zambezi. We scare easy. Don't jump out of the pond at us, whilst we are drinking. Great.

9. Wet hands when you shake. And "it's all right, I have just been to the toilet" does not inspire me with confidence either. Smashing.

And last but by no means least:

When reading a job advert, not checking the location. When I phone you for half an hour and it's going swimmingly, it is a tad annoying at the end of said conversation when I invite you to an interview and you act surprised that the job is not actually within walking distance but in a different location in the British Isles. Which would necessitate travel. Commuting. Or even relocation. Portsmouth is not a suburb of London. Chichester is not on the tube map because the Tube just doesn't go there. Lovely.

Now I have that off my chest. I can rest easy. In my easy chair on Easy Street.

Thanks for the therapy. We must do this more often. Sitting in your chair was rather comfortable :0)

PS I did not want to make this so negative, but when I started it just kept coming. Lots of interviews, over a long period of time have led to this. But the good outweighs the bad. By an awful amount...

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