Beards
December 3, 2007 12:48 PM
Are people with beards untrustworthy?
Picture the scene:
It's the late 70s / early 80s. The games teacher from Grange Hill has a beard. Your favourite uncle has a beard and you pull it often. Many politicians had beards, and good trustworthy people like Chas n' Dave had beards
Nowadays, beards are a sign of the fallen politician. The down at mouth pop star. Of celebrities falling on hard times. Or the "Alan Sugar" hard-nosed businessman type. An indicator of a lack of fashion sense...
I have read that there is a psychological reason why people don't trust men with beards, that men with beards are trying to hide things. Now this argument does not hold up. Men with ski masks who break into banks and demand money. THEY have something to hide. Men with beards generally like having a warm chin. Hardly the crime of the century.
I am staring this prejudice in the face by sporting a goatee to work.
Wear a wiggy chin to Work week. We could start a club. Fight prejuduce and promote the face coat. Other prejudices have been dealt with, but now you hear comments from sinister corners of the office...
"What's that on your chin?"
"Is your head on upside down!"
"I liked you better when you were just balding? It looks like your hair has run..."
And worse...
Joe's Australian forest: Would you employ this man?
Even Richard Branson's beardholding has diminished over the years. Maybe that is it. Maybe the success-to-beard ratio has declined. We need an entrepreneur of sufficient stature to re-instate the popularity of the humble hairy facial adornment. A champion of chin wear. To restore the flagging fortunes of the face fringe.
I think I shall start the Bring back beards campaign immediately. Maybe become a chin carpet martyr.
And in all seriousness, is having man whiskers going to affect my career prospects?
Beardophobes beware! Stop this facial prejudice now!
PS. Since this blog was written a beard proofing system has been requested, Liam here (below), has started the trend...
PPS it also seems our interest in beards is growing, like a small fluffy tash on a teenager.... UK Recruiter Blog
PPPS One job that people surely still trust, and carried out by a man with a beard. Will Santa become beardless?
Little Ollie says "NO WAY!"
Comments
Joe, I would like to thank you for your kind words of encouragement and your helpful advice on how to grow a successful goatee, I shall be putting them to good use over the coming weeks.
G - December 3, 2007 6:09 PM
Here's my theory... It comes down to whether the beard suits the man.
For example, If Gareth from The Office grew a beard then he would probably look like a 15 year old moped rider who hasn't had his first shave yet. All sprouty and horrible, not a good look.
Alternatively, if your Father Christmas then a beard is a must. FC's beard provides him that friendly warm look that kids like so much. Wizards! Wizards are possibly the hardest geezers on Earth and would be nothing without their beards. Famous beardies in this category include the legends Gandalf, and Dumbledore and in fact the lead singer of the band Wizard, Roy Wood who wished it could be Christmas everyday...
All these beard monsters have put in many years hard work to get their wiskers in top condition and I'm sure you'lll agree they have all risen to the top of their chosen careers with ease.
You just don't know if you will suit a beard unless you experiment with your entitlement as a man to grow one. So go ahead I say, grow to your hearts content then test your beard out by either buying a pointy hat and cloak and look cool or sit on a moped and look very uncool.
Mines Ginger so I'm waiting until my 60's to go for the full, no holds barred Gandalf version.
I've sold the moped, got £50 quid for it.
Liam - December 4, 2007 5:25 PM
Kid: Mummy, why has that man got a hamster on his face?
Mother: *Giggles* Don't be so rude sweetie! *Whispers* He can't afford a razor!
Mother: *Offers pennies for cuppa* Sorry about my kid sir ...
MrsBoo - December 6, 2007 3:16 PM
Are people with beards untrustworthy? Yes.
Paul C - December 11, 2007 12:47 PM
Can you grow a beard and pop the hair on some double sided tape please Joe? This could be my christmas present as I can't grow a proper one!!! :( oh... and Liam's beard is VERY ginger!!!)
Chewy - December 11, 2007 12:58 PM
Thanks for all of the helpful comments. Chewy, there is a very fuzzy postcard on its way to you. Paul C, I don't think you have thoroughly investigated the trust argument, I mean, where is the evidence? The Cime statistics don't take into account statistics on facial fuzz, and in any case, would it matter, as bearded criminals might hide behind their facial hedgerow?
I can afford a razor. I wish I had a noble cause now, such as "I'm growing this for Children in Need of a Santa with a real Beard". Unfortunately I have no excuse.
There is nothing wrong with ginger either. In all seriousness it is the new discrimination, Chewy, and therefore feel suitably told off.
Joe Mc - December 11, 2007 2:27 PM
What about very small beards under the bottom lip... do these count?
It is hiding a scar from a tooth through lip incident when I was small!
Neil L - December 13, 2007 5:58 PM
Pity old Santa then.
Alan Severn - December 15, 2007 11:24 AM
You're only saying there's nothing wrong with ginger cos you are - the photo proves it once and for all!!
NickH - December 18, 2007 2:46 PM
Liam's comments have got me thinking as to whether the beard colour has to match the hair on your head.
Does the mis-match mean you have an imbalanced face and it doesn't suit you?
I have yet to grow a beard due to this dilema, plus I think i'll end looking like David Bellamy after a few years!
If say you have brown hair on your head and a ginger beard - will you forever have trust issues with the people you meet and work with?
Can anyone provide picture proof behind this theory?
Andy - December 19, 2007 10:24 AM
I think you'll find that Des Lynam was two-tone with a tash for a long time, earning the title of "house-wives favourite" and being one of this country's premier sports commentators. It works with grey / white and black, like a badger. Maybe you can with a tash, but not a beard?
Liam has now produced the facial proof which is posted above.
Joe Mc - December 19, 2007 12:31 PM
"There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless -- boys and women -- and I am neither one."
Bearded one - January 15, 2008 2:25 AM