Just Say - NO !
July 7, 2008 12:48 PM
Is it just me, or are people increasingly disinclined - or unable - to just say "NO".
This behaviour appears to have become a social and cultural phenomenon which has permeated throughout our lives, both at work and outside it. Instead of just saying "No" when every instinct is crying out for us to do so, it seems far more common these days, to just sit on the fence and respond with a 'possibly', 'perhaps' or a 'maybe'.
Three months of concentrated investigation into this phenomenon produced nothing tangible at first until I applied the principle of the 'Five Whys' to unlock the dilemma. This meant excluding a number of obvious and superficial symptoms until the root cause is finally uncovered.
So, to start with, why are people reluctant to just say NO?
Over three-quarters of my small and unscientific sample responded that they didn't want to upset the other party. In other words, they wanted to let them down gently and they felt that saying NO would be just too hard a pill for them to swallow.
A rather shallow and obvious symptom of human behaviour perhaps, as opposed to a fundamental root cause of what we were ultimately searching for.
So why were these people so concerned about upsetting the other party? Almost two-thirds of responses fell into a generalised category called 'being seen to be doing the right thing', which I took as yet another layer of the onion, to be peeled away and discarded. However, when then asked why it was important to be seen to be doing the right thing, in excess of 80 per cent responded that they wanted to be well thought of. This is, perhaps, a perfectly natural and instinctive reaction from most people, and could so easily become mistaken for a root cause masquerading as a symptomatic veneer of an individual's behaviour.
So, why was being well thought of important to them? The answer was that it made them feel good about themselves. At this point, we were getting very close to the real point of this exercise, because the fifth and final 'WHY' extracted the response that it made them feel happier; and isn't that a good feeling to have in one's personal and professional life? Yes, of course it is. There are reams and reams of research purporting to prove that people are at their most productive and effective when they are at their happiest. So there you have it, in a nutshell. People don't like to say NO, because it makes them feel unhappy.
So, in conclusion, although this was not particularly scientific exercise, it was one in which the outcomes were not wholly unexpected; until, of course, the process was reversed and the same individuals were faced with the uncertainty of having to face their own positive or negative outcome. In that respect, they remained a distinctly and unhappily unified group, when faced with a situation where their own future uncertainty was exacerbated, and they certainly didn't respond positively to being 'let down gently'. Indeed, the overwhelming and preferential consensus was to just tell it as it is; warts and all. It was no surprise to any of them therefore that if the answer they were looking for was not an immediate or obvious yes, then JUST SAY NO!
Surviving the Downturn
April 14, 2008 10:55 AM
When doom, gloom and despondency reigns in business, the inevitable response is always to make cuts. No surprise here. The media resound with everyday stories of staff cuts, budget cuts and training and development cuts. And yet, at the same time, there is an astounding growth in job advertising for 'business development' executives of multiple shapes and sizes. It's a stereotypical and oh-so predictable response to tough times ahead.
During my last 15 years in private practice, I've seen at least 3-4 cycles of ups and downs, during which employers can be relied upon to boost the recruitment industry in their vain and often meaningless search for this mysterious 'holy grail'. The saviour with the Midas touch, who will single-handedly, with one giant leap, transform a struggling business into a successful one.
And why do they keep on repeating the same behaviour and get the same results time after time? For the same reason that we play the lottery, I suspect; if you don't buy a ticket, you can't possibly win. However, I submit that as much as the psychology is the same; so are the chances of pulling a winning ticket. And yet, businesses can be relied upon to keep doing it again and again; just so long as there's a chance, then it's worth the gamble. After all, it's only a small outlay for a potentially sizeable return. I can certainly see the lure and understand the thought processes which drive such decision-making. However, in much the same way as playing the lottery, it really has very little chance of success.
Business Development is not for the faint-hearted. It's a clear and definable skill which has its roots firmly planted in one-to-one relationship building. And yet, so misunderstood is this role and so misaligned has it become over the years, that the role has become synonymous with something which sits in the twilight zone between sales and marketing. A role which requires an incumbent to make repeated and unsolicited calls to leads and potential customers, armed with a brochure or sales pitch of the latest product or service offering. The ultimate door-knocker, if you will. The snake oil salesman of yesteryear; and if that's not bad enough, businesses which err towards a marketing bent, often swamp leads or potential customers with so much useless and confusing collateral, that they barely know what it is they are being asked to consider. Both approaches are about as useless as baling water out of the Titanic with a saucepan.
So, is there a better way?
Yes, there is, and one which is guaranteed to give every business the best possible chance of surviving and beating a downturn. Firstly, recognise that business development is a clearly defined skill, with purpose, clarity and definition; and secondly view it as a long-term sustainable investment, which, over time, will pay a steady and ever-improving return. Recruit and develop a talent pool of those who are the most natural and gifted relationship-builders, from whatever discipline they come from, and set them to work on forging long-term 'trusted partner' status with your key existing and target potential clients. Give them the freedom to operate outside of constraining and restrictive targets and work practices and reward them on their skill and ability in maintaining an ongoing dialogue with their clients. It's this dialogue which is key to sustainability and which, ultimately, propels them and the business into trusted partner status. The most successful business developers don't actually sell anything; they don't need to, because their clients are only too happy to buy from them, as and when the opportunity arises. And what's even better, is that they continue to buy, again and again and again. Just so long as there's trust, there will always be a return. It may not be immediate and it may not scoop the jackpot, but it will be consistent and reliable.
What value this level of consistency and reliability in the current economic climate? However, just like any solid and worthwhile investment, it requires time, patience and good judgement, which might well be a better bet than a weekly punt on the lottery.
The Poisonous Parasite
January 31, 2008 10:23 AM
Are you struggling at work, to deal with a colleague or co-worker, who constantly talks you down, flaunts your authority and generally behaves towards you in a volatile, manipulative and toxic manner?
Welcome to the World of the 'Poisonous Parasite'; something which is sadly alive and kicking in almost every workplace you'd care to mention and has done so since the workplace was invented.
To deal with the poisonous parasite, you first have to understand what it is and where it lurks, before you can even begin to deal with it.
Dealing with it, requires you to immunize yourself from its destructive effects and then exorcise it from your immediate environment. What you cannot do is to turn it into a benign or even benevolent bug, because it feeds by poisoning and destroying its host before moving on to a new victim.
First and foremost, you must not allow a poisonous parasite to see, sense or feel that their attitude and behaviour towards you is having any effect at all. It's hard, I know, because to instantly develop a cloak of insensitivity does not come naturally to most of us.
Nevertheless, that's what you have to do. Treat whatever they say to you as though it's inconsequential or irrelevant, which it probably will be, for the most part. Tell them (don't ask them) to put anything in writing, that they believe to be important.
At the same time, always make sure that you follow up any verbal instructions or discussions, in writing. That way, there's a record of it, to support any disciplinary action, should that be required at a later stage.
Never get embroiled in any email or written tit-for-tat.
Always ensure that you make them responsible for finding you and not vice versa.
Always tell them (never ask them), to put any comments or observations they might want to make about your behaviour or management style, in writing. When they want to meet with you, make them attend either first thing in the morning or last thing at night, depending on whether you're a morning or evening person.
Never discuss or gossip about their behaviour with anyone else in the office and keep a short written record of any and all dysfunctional behaviour which relates to the productivity and wellbeing of you, your colleagues or your team.
Poisonous Parasites are always looking for an angle; something to feed off. Give them nothing. A common strategy is often a crude attempt to goad you or make you look foolish in front of colleagues or your boss. Be aware of this strategy and don't rise to the bait. Meetings and social occasions are also rich hunting ground for the offhand remark or the spiteful repost, so be ready for them. They're looking to pick a fight, so give them nothing to feed off. A slight shrug, coupled with an 'Uh-Huh' or a 'Yup, you're probably right', will give them nowhere to go.
Be polite; be proper; be professional and be courteous at all times.
Trust me, you will eventually bore them into either finding another 'victim' they can feed off, or they will just become more and more angry and frustrated that they're getting no response from you that they will slip up and do something terminally foolish.
Remember, Poisonous Parasites are always on the look-out for potential victims. If they've honed in you, it's because they think you're an easy target; and whilst they've got you in their sights, all your other peers and colleagues are going to be looking at you to see how you're going to handle it.
However, don't become lulled into believing that anyone else is going to do anything about it. They are not. They are just pleased that they are not a current target.
The solution lies with you, because, guess what? If you allow yourself to become a victim here, you'll end up a victim wherever you go and whatever you do, because working life everywhere is filled with poisonous parasites.
The Most Important 15 Minutes of your Life
December 4, 2007 9:21 AM
The most obvious and noticeable observation on returning to the UK after 3 weeks in France, is the frenetic pace of life people lead in the UK. Almost from the minute you hit the M23, everyone seems in such a desperate hurry; and this was at 11.00 pm in the evening.
And so it is in the workplace, as well. No one seems to have any time any more to stop and think. Everyone seems to be moving at breakneck speed, just to keep up. As a consequence of which, I've been having rather too many conversations of late with stressed out workers, who just can't see the wood for the trees. Whether it's a case of not enough hours in the day, or just too much to do, the theme and the sentiment are one and the same. So, just imagine the reaction when I suggest to them that they take 15 minutes each day for themselves.
15 minutes a day. That's a mere 900 seconds.
The predictable responses have been anything from the ridiculous to the absurd. But consider for a moment what 15 minutes each day actually represents. Given an average day (and no one works an average day these days), of 8 hours; that's 480 minutes. 15 minutes represents a lowly 3.125% of the working day. Even though employment legislation requires individuals to take a lunch break, many choose not to, simply because of the pressure of work. Consequently, it's a real struggle to persuade people to set aside 15 minutes of downtime for themselves. This downtime, or 'self time', as I call it, is just not considered important enough by most, as they absorb themselves in their tasks of the day.
However, 15 minutes of time dedicated exclusively to oneself is surprisingly refreshing and relaxing. It's the equivalent of holding one's breath 15 times, since most people average out at around a minute. It is in essence, 15 minutes of meditation within the maelstrom of the work environment. It reinvigorates the spirit and regenerates enthusiasm and energy. It's the blink of an eye in a long days' work, and lifetime when it's yours to do with what you will. Whether it's listening to an i-pod (or equivalent), reading a book, going for a walk or staring out of a window. Choosing what to do with one's 15 minutes each day becomes an ever increasing and enjoyable challenge. One which, with practice, you'll look forward to with as much anticipation as you will the tasks and assignments which make up the working day.
The Personal Branding Revolution
November 16, 2007 9:06 AM
As the year draws to a close, I suddenly find myself having more and more in-depth conversations with a wide-ranging and diverse group of people, about what they want to do in 2008.
Usually this starts with a conversation about their job, their CV, their career prospects and the whole process of recruitment. However, within a very short space of time, we end up talking about what it is that they actually do. No, not their job title, their job description, or the role they are currently occupying; but a detailed conversation of precisely what it is that they actually do. Now what's intriguing about this, is that most of them cannot describe what they do - they've never had to do it before.
The CV/Resume or the recruiter does it for them, and that's just it. We have all been relying on someone else or something else to define our working lives; what jobs we do and how our employers, colleagues and the World at large, sees us. So, the very concept of sitting down and addressing it ourselves is a complete anathema to most of us. Most of what we do is pretty straightforward and uncomplicated, but it's truly astonishing how complex we can choose to make it. We totally abandon the concept of KISS (keep it simple stupid, for those of you who have grown up in the digital age), choosing instead to describe what we do in the most complicated and confusing manner. It's almost as if we are programmed to believe that the more complex it sounds, the higher our value and the more we are worth. It's all nonsense, of course, because it only serves to confuse those around us, who might be attempting to find us a new job or a better position.
How often does a recruiter come up with the same job in a different organisation and how many times has your Boss given you a task that you are wholly unsuited to? Too many times to make it coincidental, I suspect. The responsibility really lies within all of us to be clear about what we do, and then articulate that with clarity, brevity and certainty. It's not easy of course, and the chances are that you've never done it before; however, once done, you'll find it so much easier to focus and concentrate on what's right for you as opposed to what's right for someone else.