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Working Relationship
I've been in my current job for almost a year & even though I enjoy the actual job itself, I have quite a difficult relationship with my boss.My boss is not a very good communicator face-to-face & most of the time when you have any work related queries they just get defensive & you're made to feel bad for asking, but I've been told I need to ask more questions recently, so I can't win! They're also not very good at supporting you when you have any concerns - they just tend to hide in their office & come back out when everything's supposedly sorted out.
The annoying part about it is that everyone else in my team think they're brilliant at their job & as a person & have never got a bad word to say about them, so I'm starting to think it's me with the problem!
Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? If so, can you offer me any words of wisdom at all as they would be very much appreciated!
Comments
This is a commonplace occurrence, so don't be dis-heartened. It's NOT you.
Your Boss is hiding away from taking responsibility for what he/she should be doing. This is often a threat response from a vulnerable, insecure or inept manager. If they don't see it or hear it, then there's no need for them to take action. So, don't put them in a position where they have to make decisions or choices. Ask questions...sure, but make them part of a solution which you propose. Don't ask them to validate your thinking or approve your solutions, because they won't. Just do what you believe to be right. Sometimes you'll be right; other times wrong, but you'll learn plenty as you go, and they will have still learned nothing. Some of your colleagues will think they are great, because they don't interfere or make decisions which fundamentally affect the way your colleagues want to work. That's their choice; to coast along and learn nothing or challenge and learn plenty.
Charlie - May 18, 2007 11:07 AM
I was in the same position and after months of misery, unfortunately to get my sanity back, i resigned without another job to go to.
Do you have an HR department? I wish I knew this at the time, but you could try to approach them and find out how they can help you.The sooner you contact them the better. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be for anyone to help you in rectifying this situation.
Tamara - May 31, 2007 11:04 PM
I'm in the same position now with someone who was a colleague and has just been promoted to my boss. We never really got on but she's now gone out of her way to publically berate me, she has found fault in things that I've done and to make things worse has three friends in the team that I'm managing which leads to all sorts of issues! This is one of the toughest challenges I've had to face and it's getting me down and making me question my own sanity on occasion but I do agree with the comments above. The main thing to do is to make records of what's been discussed (follow up,clarifying emails work well) and if you need development, ask for it, always remember to be diplomatic and non threatening (I forgot that one recently and things blew up!). Seek support from friends & family and ensure that things remain in perspective. If the worst comes to the worst try to hang on in there before jumping ship for a naffer, or no, job.
Boomer - June 8, 2007 10:03 AM